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From being a DISBELIEVER to being I AM THE BELIEVER

22:19

In the name of Allah , the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful. 

Assalamualaikum to all, 
As promised, I bring to you the story of how I Am The Believer started in 2010 and how it made through it's journey till today, Alhamdulillah. 



... Walked into my room and saw my bed and i thought to myself, "It would feel sooo good to take a nap after such a long tiring animation class!". But unfortunately it's already Asr and I rather go take my wudhu and pray! Walked down to the toilet and the rushing gush of cold water on a hot day is such a ni'mat. The best thing about taking wudhu is that the whole body just amazingly re-energized! It's like Allah just knows how the body works...well duhh!! He is the creator after all! Immediately I walked back to the room and performed my salah. 

As i was sitting there on my prayer mat after my prayers, I was totally energized from my original plan which is to take a nap. I quickly moved to my desk, sat down on my chair and switched on my computer! And as usual, first site...FACEBOOK! But it didn't interest me that day...Gossips, videos on the latest song, long emotional vulgar status was all up and it got me feeling sick for a second. Somehow after being a Muslim a few months ago, all what i see today doesn't interest me anymore! i couldn't see how it serves as a purpose in my life. Immediately i thought about this new social media phenomena thighy that my room mate shared with me yesterday called Tumblr, so why don't we check it out! So i went on Google, made some research about it and checked out the site itself. 

I then typed "Islam" on the search site on Tumblr and to my surprise, subahanAllah there were thousands of gems, pictures, quotes by scholars and the sahabah and at that moment, i was SUPER SERIOUSLY energized. From slouching on my chair, i quickly sat up straight staring at my computer screen trying to take all the pleasure i could get off it, in! YES! you've guessed it, i spent more than 30 minutes going through the whole thread!

The next thought that clicked in my mind was, why would i waste time on Facebook going through news feed that is not gonna help me at all when i could be here!!! And then at that very second, i told myself that i'm gonna benefit more from Tumblr and started up a new account. 

Tumblr officially became my new world!!

Then it came to that moment that every blogger had to be super smart and creative, NAMING YOUR BLOG (cos you need to appear awesome and cool) and a pen name! urf though i'm in the creative line, am not so of a creative copywriter! Took me a good 10-20 minutes staring at the screen like a fool thinking bout naming my Tumblr. Why isn't my head moving in the right direction?! Allah....!

Back to basics ash! back to basics!...what is the purpose of you doing this? To benefit myself and i could learn one or two from the posts...ouh yeah and definitely this is super motivational! and reblogging is the best thing ever invented! i could benefit myself, and the others...SHARE! SHARE! SHARE! obviously then at the end of the day, i can be a better believer! That's it!! BELIEVER! that's the key word...i want to be that BELIEVER! that BELIEVER that my Rabb has praised in His book, that BELIEVER that the person most lovable to me than my parents has praised on and on, inspiring me to be where i am, being a BELIEVER of that true deen! Yes! I want to be that BELIEVER! I AM THE BELIEVER!

At that moment i knew that I AM THE BELIEVER will be my motivator at times i slack being one, a strength to keep me moving after changing my religion and believe, a teacher to remind me through thickness and thin...and a community that is my family. 

Throughout those years till today, it has served me a purpose in life. It thought me a lot regarding my morale and my deen. It brought me up to new heights in life. It allowed me to develop new relationship with amazing brothers and sisters online and around me...all for one sole purpose...becoming a BELIEVER. 

I know that what has benefited me then, has now, as of today, benefited many. Don't get me wrong, cos it still benefits me but i'm happy and its such a satisfaction that it's benefiting more and more people today. Alhamdulillah with the help of my husband and friends, I AM THE BELIEVER has started to benefit more people for the sake of Allah SWT and i just hope we all could see later on the Day of Judgement, the ajr from all of this. 

It's true though as what i've said to our team, something that i've started a long time ago, i never knew it will come to this stage. Though it is a blessing for all of us, it does serves as a reminder that this is also a test from Allah SWT. I pray that Allah SWT guides us in this straight path and gather all of us in Jannah! Ameen!

Waalaikummusalam warahmatullah ~

Updates! Updates!

18:46

In the name of Allah , the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful. 

Assalamualaikum to all,

It's been quite awhile that i took a stroll down this blog. SubahanAllah with the pregnancy and studies that i have been catching up, it's quite hard to make time for writing tho i wish i could write in a daily basis!

Now am back here again with the a long overdue post my dear family!

So, really today's post is really much of an update about me myself and what is really happening behind I Am The Believer. So, some of you have already known that I've started up writing and sharing on my Tumblr for almost 4 yrs ago, few months after i took my shahadah. Than my Tumblr turned into pretty much a sharing site and this blogspot has been a place where i throw what i've learned and went through almost that 4 years of journey of being a Muslim.

Well, today, i have revamped I Am The Believer TOTALLY! Alhamdulillah with the great mind of my husband wanting to grow this brand into benefiting more and more people, we practically made I Am The Believer into a community! Alhamdulillah that we have friends coming on board with ideas and seeing it coming to live is amazing actually!

Our very own first free Islamic talk


I am inshaAllah turning my Tumblr into a one stop website just like Muslim Matters inshaAllah so that Malaysian Muslims inshaAllah can benefit from it. With talks, articles, information on courses and classes would pretty much help Muslims here in seeking beneficial knowledge inshaAllah. Also, we have launched our very own free Islamic talks last week, that we plan to do it in monthly basis and books and merchandise business to help us sustain and giving back to the community inshaAllah. We do have more and more plans coming in and i'm most thankful that my husband is running it fully with help from close friends Alhamdulillah. As for me, now im helping in terms of design and making lil decisions here and there. I hope i could do as much as before but being in the 3rd trimester of pregnancy now, subahanAllah it ain't easy and all i could do is pray for Allah to sprinkle some dust of energy for me to work for this Ummah despite being a mother. Please also my dearies, do make du'a for us!!

Watch out for my next post on how i started up I Am The Believer....

Waalaikummusalam warahmatullah ~

This how our Ummah is slowly but effectively divided

03:21



In the name of Allah , the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful.

 Assalamualaykum to all, 

 Recently i have been coming across this ridiculous most absurd attitude...I'M BETTER THAN YOU!

 Funny thing is that it appears to be not direct as above but when you start cutting the bushes...its in your face!

 Quite recently my environment has been polluted with this kinda thinking actually. People are racing to be number 1, perfect, amazing and subahanAllah, i can't really see where are they heading! I wonder if they can see it. From individuals promoting their good deeds to community that not only love being in the sideline but condemning others on their efforts. I wonder what do they achieve at the end? Do they know what are they achieving? 

 I mean like for Allah's sake, you are apart of this Ummah, don't you want everyone to receive khayr? How can you be selfish by condemning the efforts of your brothers and sisters? I mean we all know that no one is perfect but, is that what you utter outside but not understanding and practising it from within?

 Wallahi it hurts seeing us being divided within the scope of da'wah. Don't get me started with the other issues...



See brothers and sisters, we being actively involved in da'wah, our main goal is only one! TO OPEN THE EYES AND MINDS OF OTHER HUMAN BEING BACK TO HIS CREATOR be it a Muslim or a non Muslim. That is the only goal that every each one du'at is supposed to have in their mind. 

 So,
this means NO "I only belong to this Organization"
this means NO "How many followers i have in my social media...*scroll scroll*"
and DEFINITELY NO to "Well, they are so and so unlike us which are trying to keep it real here"

 all the above...TOTAL BAKWAS!

 I know that its hard and when we have been so indulged, it is hard to change back but you must understand than we are all doing it for the BETTERMENT of the UMMAH. Set aside emotional and selfish attitude and always push yourself to think POSITIVELY inshaAllah..

 I KNOW I CAN DO IT, SO DO YOU inshaAllah


Waalaykummusalam warahmatullah ~

It's The Bakwas Type of Love!

20:37



In the name of Allah , the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful. 

Assalamualaykum to all,

A follow up to my last post, MashaAllah this is something direct and spot on for our youth out there especially the sisters in their teen and youth years. I really hope that you guys have a good read!If there is something you would wanna do for your Rabb then take the first step in ending a haram relationship for the sake of Him if you know that its gonna take a looooong time till both of you get married. 

Girl meets boy, and life seems so sweet. Now that he is in her life, no one else exists. All day he is the number one feature of her daydreams; the star of the show. She checks her Facebook to see if he has posted on her wall; and her gaze is always lowered... right on to her phone, checking for his messages. She is his queen, and he is her king. He cherishes her, adores her and cares for her in every way possible. She says she cannot live without him, and with a twinkle in his eyes, he says he feels the same way. She wonders, is this real?

So romantic, right?

Sure... If her Prince Charming happens to be her husband.

And if not?

She risks losing her reputation, her self-respect, her modesty, her Iman... and worst of all, her akhirah is in grave danger.

One of the most evil crisis' to come upon the Ummah is that of dating and inappropriate contact between the genders. Whether we are aware of it or not, these relationships are rampant, hidden behind deleted messages and secret hook-ups. Evil surrounds these relationships- from loss of reputation and destruction of modesty, to outright zina and abortion.

What if it's too late you ask?

It's never too late to turn to Allah. This article is not about the fiqh of gender interaction (references for that at the end of the article). This is just some advice from one sister to another, to every girl who has non-Mahram "friends" with whom she freely chats to; every girl who sincerely wants to marry for the sake of Allah, but has found herself falling in to the haram in her quest; to all my sisters out there who make excuses as to why they can't keep it halal. Let be real with ourselves, inshaAllah.

Excuses for Free-mixing and Dating – Let's be real

But we love each other!

Yes, you might love each other, but isn't Allah more deserving of your love? Of course you say, knowing full well that Allah deserves your love above everybody and everything else.

... are some who take (for worship) others besides Allah as rivals (to Allah). They love them as they love Allah. But those who believe, love Allah more (than anything else)…. (Surah Al Baqarah 2:165)

Are you using His blessings (sight, speech, movement, intelligence, beauty) to disobey Him? If you love, deeply, truly - Allah - than love everybody else in ways that please Him. Get married if possible, since that is the cure for those in love.

Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas : Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said, "You have seen nothing like marriage for increasing the love of two people.' Ibn Majah transmitted it.

Tip: If marriage is not an option, have sabr and don't transgress the limits set by Allah for fleeting feelings. InshaAllah your time will come, and the fire of regret will burn deep in your heart if you fell in to haram while you were seeking the Halal.

We only talk on the phone/Facebook/text... Isn't that ok?

Short answer, no.

You might have pure intentions, hoping to get to know each other for the sake of marriage. The scary fact is, Shaytaan will seize the opportunity if he sees you approaching a potentially sinful situation. Slowly but surely, certain things seem more and more acceptable to you, and you could soon find yourself in a compromising situation that you never would have thought possible.

Like quicksand, haram relationships are easy to fall in to and hard to get out of (mostly because of the emotional toll). If only we heeded the advice of the One created us, we'd find our lives so much easier.

And do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way. (Al Isra 17:32)

Tip: Don't even come close to zina- can the advice be any clearer? What starts off “innocently” can lead to zina. Trust that Allah is looking out for your best interest. Begin what you intend to do the right way, so that what follows is right, inshaAllah. If what begins right, ends right, we can hope for the “right” abode in the akhirah - Jannah.

But we're getting married... eventually!

In a nutshell - until the imam pronounces you as man and wife - he is to you as every other man is. Would you consider is ok to call Carlos from accounting and have a chat about your favorite movies? Is it ok to meet Imam Bilal at the movies? Late night phone calls and meet ups are off-limits, unless your wali is in on the situation like butter on bread.

Sisters, don't be fooled in to thinking everything is sweet just because he manned up and proposed (or promised to propose). By Allah, there are girls who give up their dignity, with promises of marriage, and I'm talking about really giving it up. They lost their 'izza for nothing more than promises and feeling lovey dovey - only to find themselves dumped, or in a miserable marriage to someone who doesn't fear Allah, because they were too love-blind to see the red flags. A real man isn't one who can get the girls... a real man is one who fears Allah, especially when emotions are high.

But he wont want me if we don't communicate.

Think of your (future) husband as an advocate of your deen - i.e. the closest person to you that will encourage you toward good and steer you away from sin. If this guy fails to encourage piety from the outset, what is it that you are seeking from him?

If the guy you want to marry pressures you to communicate with him outside of your wali, he's forcing you in to a corner. On one hand, you want to protect your izza and your Iman. On the other hand, is him. Does that sound like a good deal to you?

Your wali is there for a reason (actually, quite a few reasons). He is supposed to deal with your suitors, and act as a chaperone, to avoid any haram contact.

Tip: Utilise your wali to safeguard your Iman, hopefully attaining barakah in your marriage by doing things in accordance to Islam. Don't taint your future marriage by planting the seeds of haram, because eventually you will have to reap them.
I can't find anyone else but him...

As for those who fear they can’t find anybody else, may Allah send you a righteous brother soon, Ameen. It's tempting to cling on to the first decent guy that shows interest, but don't settle for anyone who makes you compromise your Deen.

Tip: Be upfront with all suitors. Let them know your wali will be present at all times during the pre-marital meeting. Make sure your wali understands his role properly, which isn't to keep a brick wall between you and your intended, but to act as your guardian. There are no excuses for being in seclusion (khalwa) with a non-Mahram for the sake of getting to know them.

Narrated Umar ibn al-Khattab: Rasulullah (SAW) said, "Whenever a man is alone with a woman the Devil makes a third." (Al-Tirmidhi 3118)

But everyone else is doing it...

I find it appropriate to repeat the words of my mother, and just about everybody else's mother, "If everybody jumps off a bridge, will you jump too?". Cliche, sure, but they had a point. Just because other people are engaging in haram, it doesn't make it ok for you to follow. You'll only add to your bad deeds, and theirs too. What if the same people you choose to follow in this life, turn out to be the ones you have no choice but to follow in the next? And what of these same people are thrown into fire - what will your situation be?

Tip: Keep good company, stay amongst people who understand the seriousness of disobeying Allah and His messenger sal Allahu alayhi wa salaam. Reflect on the famous Hadith of the perfume and the blacksmith:

Narrated Abu Musa: Allah's Apostle said, "The example of a good companion (who sits with you) in comparison with a bad one, is like that of the musk seller and the blacksmith's bellows (or furnace); from the first you would either buy musk or enjoy its good smell while the bellows would either burn your clothes or your house, or you get a bad nasty smell thereof." ...(Ṣahih al-Bukhārī)

Good friends are invaluable. A good friend will advise you to have sabr and wait for a suitable situation to come up. A bad friend will encourage you to disobey Allah for a meaningless romance. The difference between such companions is literally the difference between Jannah and Jahannam. Choose wisely, and find success, inshaAllah.

But it's too late to keep it halal...

So you've already commenced haram contact and you feel like its too late to stop. Fortunately, you're wrong.

The contact between you may have become inappropriate, it doesn't have to stay that way. Perhaps Shaytaan got the better of you, and he might have won a few battles, but it doesn't mean he's won the war. You can make it halal, but you have to make a sincere effort.

1. Within yourself, make it clear that you are 'making it halal' for the sake of Allah. This is vital! You need to be clear about what your goal is, and stay steadfast, because Shaytaan is going to attack you from very angle. Repentance is key – you need to seek forgiveness, regret, and abstain from the sin. The great news is, that you have a Lord who is Ar-Rahman (The Compassionate), Al-Ghaffar (The Pardoner), Al-Afuw (The Forgiving), Al Halim (The Kindly).
2. Give the number of your wali to this guy, if you're serious about marriage. If not, break contact immediately. Either you're heading for marriage or you're not. Good Muslims are not 'players' - so don't play around.

By shunning the evil of free mixing and dating, you are reviving a sunnah, and setting a trend of modesty and piety, in a world riddled with evil desires and dangerous sins. Don't underestimate the worth of clinging to the Deen, regardless of whose love you lose...

...Because a Muslimah Queen like you deserves to be loved and cherished in ways that please Allah, Whose love we cannot live without. And that's real.

Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful." (39:53)

took from SISTERS FB Page
Waalaikummusalam warahmatullah ~

Marriage and Love

He wants to marry me, he wants to marry me not...

18:00



In the name of Allah , the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful. 

Assalamualaykum to all, 

Aaah! The dilemma of marriage! The dilemma of love! I've been noticing this quite a lot among the brothers and sisters around me these days. 

And before all of you come up being defensive for the fact that our situations are not the same, let me tell you this, I HAVE BEEN THERE!

Let me tell you something bout my love life before Islam and after it and the time when I got married. Probably you sisters and brothers could somewhat relate to it.

When I first fell in love, it was what my mom use to call "monkey love"! This is the love that sparked during high school and wallahi most of us have no idea what love is! Love to me at least was what i saw in bollywood movie and its funny when wee try to mimic it in real life! It was all innocent (at least back then) and yes there wasn't any idea of marriage because this is just part time. Well, I was trained to be more career minded back then and love is just a fling and its part time.

When I hit the age 19, then I realized the weight of love! It consists sacrifice, time and of course the big word, MARRIAGE! A proposal came to me then, with much love and promises and well at least it sounded serious! It was a reality check for me because, i'm no longer a kid. I feel old and i know its time to carry something on my back called RESPONSIBILITY. Then again, i have no idea bout marriage, being seriously in love is something that i thought i could start as a practice towards my marriage! You see, it was definitely, sugar and flowers at the same time and i developed something called ATTACHMENT! He did come over and meet my parents but none of us is in the idea of wedding at that time. My parents had different idea and plans for me and marriage wasn't one of it. I had a plan for myself too and it was just to continue living as how i am. Yes, i'm very comfortable in the dating zone! However, this guy is 10 years older than me and subahanAllah age is just a number guys! He was just as me, no future plan for us or the family that we wanted to built, no future on managing our life...nothing...just...WILL YOU MARRY ME?...

So, well that didn't go right didn't it! Due to that attachment, I was in great pain! A pain that left me categorizing men. A pain that left me thinking there isn't more to life, no future and i shall just live by the moment. So, i did! I lost myself in search for love due to that heartbreak. Men came into my life and they came in bringing the same promises, MARRIAGE. I had to keep it clear and it was all about being friends with benefits and rebounds! I've lost myself and first time ever i felt like i was in control with my life! Prayers, God, nah, i was just doing it without fear and taqwa. Plus i was mad at God at that time for taking away what i love the most. Well, now thinking bout it, it's just a guy and seriously?! what a huge drama!

I think Allah SWT noticed my huge drama and for some reason i think He loves me alot! 

LOVE came again into my life not long after that. This time...MashaAllah it came and hit me big! It didn't only bring me love from a human but SubahanAllah it came with the LOVE OF MY RABB. To me at that time, this relationship that i was in was the purest form ever! From a love that demands sacrifice, i've got a love that is patience. From a love that is all about physical interaction, I've got a love that respects me as a woman. It was something new for me and yes it did come to me with the same promise, MARRIAGE. But then for me, i was more in awed for the fact that i saw sooo much of amazing akhlaq and differences! And i was in denial for the fact that was all because of Islam as i was anti Islam and never in a million years will i consider the religion. 

To cut it all short, this promise of MARRIAGE pushed me to open the Quran, read and learn as if i was going to go all serious, i need to go SEARCH and LEARN. Cutting it short, i fell in love more with Allah SWT and that made me realize who MY RABB was. Alhamdulillah for that LOVE, i was a new person, i realized the purpose of my life, i struggled in becoming a good Muslim, i searched ways to please MY RABB and this was when i started climbing the stairs rapidly. 

Yet than i forgot that haram is still haram no matter how you JUSTIFY it. We both knew it but we was both in denial because we put MARRIAGE as our goal and inshaAllah despite anything we will end up there! We tried so many ways trying to make it all halal. No contacting, no meeting up, using a middle person to convey messages, meeting each other in the presence of friends, meeting at the masjid so that it might not look bad and wallahi soo many other way trying to make it halal. Yet, you know the heart is just too fragile to say no. Time passed but we were just at where we started it. This time, astaghfirullah, my ibaadah started to go in the way of pleasing him rather than Allah SWT. Again i fell into the same hole of attachment as i did before.

Time passed and well, Allah SWT wanted different thing for both of us. We separated and took different paths in life. Then and only then i prayed and went on sujud every night asking forgiveness from Allah SWT and asking Him to give me another chance to make it all right! And at the same time i prayed to Allah SWT to take care of my heart and only pass it to the one that He has written for me. 



When i met my husband, Allah SWT was there holding to my du'a and guiding me to MARRIAGE as soon as possible. We were drifting a lil bit here and there but Alhamdulillah, Allah SWT sent so many amazing brothers and sisters pushing us into the path back and making us do it without much fitna. 

Brothers and sisters, i am sharing my journey of LOVE and MARRIAGE to all of you not to tell you that I am right but i'm sharing it so that all of you would know that it isn't all that hard and painful unless you make it that way. Ask yourself, is the person that I'm in LOVE with is going to be there during hardship? Is the person going to stand by me? Do we share the same goal in life and the family that we want to build? So after we get married, what happens? Will it feel the same just like before? Am i really ready to be a wife? A mother? And most importantly, IS ALLAH PLEASED WITH THIS RELATIONSHIP? HOW IS ALLAH PLEASED WITH ME WHEN I DON'T PLEASE HIM? 

It is in your hands how you design your MARRIAGE. If a MARRIAGE starts with something halal and good, inshaAllah it will end with something good. It is not wrong to fall in LOVE, but fall in love through the way that our RABB has ordained for us because then, we will not be in much PAIN because of a creation.


Don't lose yourself brothers and sisters and make loads and loads of du'a. Allah SWT hears :)

Waalaykummusalam warahmatullah ~