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| Me & My Zawj...well the background is definitely not from our wedding! :p |
In the name of Allah , the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful.
Assalamualaikum dear family,
And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought. (Holy Quran 30:21)
Few days before I had somebody who asked my hand in marriage, I was going through a lecture video by Sheikh Yawar Baig regarding marriage, what it really is and the essential part of making it wonderful. He then was explaining about this verse. SubahanAllah at that time i thought to myself that its merely impossible for anyone to put up with me. Trust me! The amount of breakdowns and frustration because of being a revert is painful enough that i stop burdening people with it and instead turned to my Love. Sajdah was the only way i could cry and pour my pain upon and i thought how would i ever have tranquillity being in a marriage with someone.
I was at the point of giving up, no marriage and weddings, all of it over rated, couldn't be bothered! But deep inside me i do know that there is something about marriage and its a sunnah. Every possible night, i do wake up for tahajjud and asked Allah SWT to bless me with a man who will love me more than i do, for the sake of Allah SWT. A man who is on this deen, and is growing like me and willing to learn with me, a man who will do da'wah to my family and a man who will be the coolness of my eyes.
One day a brother that i knew from my workplace(still my colleague) asked my hand in marriage and wallahi i thought he was kidding! and i obviously said that he is crazy cause he have no idea what his getting into! then he asked me again and then it hit me that he is really serious about it! He is 3 years younger than me and for me its a definite no! even if it was following the sunnah. I could never register more in my head that this brother is just a child! My bad, he is not!
Well, coming from a dating background, i never know how it worked in the real Islamic way. But i did tell myself that i want to make it right this time. So, i said yes and then we proceeded with getting to know each other in terms of what we like, our vision in life, for the marriage, how we want to bring the kids up and all of the serious stuffs.
What amaze me the most with this brother is that, he have never seen my face, never seen my figure cos of the abaya, I'm a revert and i have nothing other than this deen but he wanted to marry me! its soooo weird in a good way for me! I've always hated brothers who wants to marry sisters just because of how they look but this is too weirdly awesome for me!
We then proceeded to the part where he came over to see my face cause its part of sunnah and subahanAllah that moment is just sooo beautiful i can even smile till today.thinking bout it. Wallahi I've never blushed that much in my life! we were both lowering our gazes and the awkwardness just went up to the next level! and yes, we both immediately agreed to get married. i was scared about how will it go with my family and the whole situation but Alhamdulillah, Allah gave me someone who has total tawakul in Him.
Then it went on to meet his parents and MashaAllah they were the nicest people I've ever met! My mother-in-law was definitely the kind i was dreaming of since i was young! told him though that his mother is my dream mother-in-law :p . and his father, mashaAllah a humble man and funny at times! We than proceeded to the legal matters to get our nikah done and his parents was with us preparing and doing everything with us till the last day! With the crazy government procedure making the process of getting the nikah done, they actually went up and down with us..MashaAllah...May Allah bless them for that effort and help that they did for us...and i am truly blessed to have them in my life.
While going through all the hassle and hardship, Allah truly blessed us with ease. We knew each other so well for only a month and on the 31st of January 2013, we did our nikah at the Islamic Affairs Department in Malaysia. It was the most simplest nikah where we had both his parents and both my really close friends there to witness it all.
After all, Allah did hear to my prayers of not wanting a lavish wedding...Alhamdulillah~
Well dear family, my husband is not the most handsomest man or the most macho person. He doesn't look like a model or even the fairest man alive and he is definitely not the urdu speaking poet that comes in a white horse to sweep me of my feet (yes, that is my unrealistic wish for a husband :p). He is not the kind of person that i want but he is what Allah SWT wants for me. How beautiful is it to receive a gift that when you open the box, you'll see the most beautiful thing ever inside it. I'm saying Alhamdulillah everyday and everyday is a new page with him.
To those out there looking for the right life partner, make sure you fix yourself first according to this deen and at the same time make loads of du'a asking Allah SWT to send you the right one. Do not despair when things don't go your way because the best is that which goes in Allah's way. Like what my husband always tells me, say Alhamdulillah no matter in what situation we are in. Even in the bad times, Allah SWT is preparing the best for you which even you can't imagine it.
Do keep us in your du'a my dear family...inshaAllah~
And those who say, "Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous." (Holy Quran 25:74)
Waalaikummusalam warahmatullah ~
