THOUGHTS OF A BELIEVER

In the name of Allah , the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful. 

Assalamualaikum to all,

So how has Ramadhan been so far my dear family? hopefully good yeah! :D

Well, this Ramadhan for me its all about Allah and family. Yes, my parents are aware that i'm fasting but Alhamdulillah no complain so far! Thank you Allah for not letting them complain :D in fact i break my fast together with them and its cute looking at my dad enjoying the dates as much as i do! but my mom is still adamant to the fact that i'm following the Muslim lifestyle. Despite that Alhamdulillah things are going on pretty good just that i never had much time to perform tarawih prayers and its an on off thing due to unavoidable circumstances :(

Apart from that, im kinda missing iftaar and suhoor back in my university days. it is indeed a different feeling being with my Muslim friends and enjoying Ramadhan as much as i could :) Missing all my friends already! now they are probably doing it with their family or their husband :)

Thinking about friends and companionship in my life, i'm actually blessed in a way that Allah has always brought me closer to better people! when im close to someone that takes me away from Him, He pulls me back to seeratul mustaqeem and Alhamdulillah i can never come so far without Him. it is true you know that the purpose we are here on earth is to prepare ourselves for the hereafter and everything that comes to us in this world is a bridge and preparation moving into the hereafter. This applies to relationship too! be our family, friends or even spouse...they define who we really are!

Yesterday i was having my iftaar and taraweh in International Islamic University Malaysia's mosque with my dear beloved sisters Anis, Alyaa and Sharmi! ouh and not to forget teacher Fatin and her cutie little son was there too! MashaAllah it was so beautiful being with them and of course we met sister Hind after the taraweh! MashaAllah that girl is a super woman! :D But the best thing among all is when its time for Isha' and Alyaa hold me and Sharmi and went "come lets stand together so that we'll get into Jannah together"...huuuu i was speechless and the only think i could say that time was Alhamdulillah...thank you for this wonderful gift Rabb! and made du'a for everyone! :D MashaAllah!

See, these are the kind of companions im talking about! those who love you for Allah's sake and you want to be better! such an inspirational ladies MashaAllah!

Ouh, and few months back i was in a halaqa in IIUM which was conducted by Sister Tasneem regarding ticket to Jannah. Most of us might be thinking that the ticket to Jannah is just about fasting, zakat and salat but you know what, there's more to that!

When people talk about Jannah, im always reminded by this hadith...my FAV hadith actually! heeee.....

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
"When Allah created Paradise and Hell-fire, He sent Gabriel to Paradise, saying: 'Look at it and at what I have prepared therein for its inhabitants.'" The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "So he came to it and looked at it and at what Allah had prepared therein for its inhabitants." The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "So he returned to Him and said: 'By your glory, no one hears of it without entering it.' So He ordered that it be encompassed by forms of hardship, and He said: 'Return to it and look at what I have prepared therein for its inhabitants.'" The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "So he returned to it and found that it was encompassed by forms of hardship (1). Then he returned to Him and said: 'By Your glory, I fear that no one will enter it.' He said: 'Go to Hell-fire and look at it and what I have prepared therein for its inhabitants;' and he found that it was in layers, one above the other. Then he returned to Him and said: 'By Your glory, no one who hears of it will enter it.' So He ordered that it be encompassed by lusts. Then He said: 'Return to it.' And he returned to it and said: 'By Your glory, I am frightened that no one will escape from entering it.' - Hadith Qudsi, 38

Such a powerful hadith right! just knocks right into your head! uhuhuhuhu.....
Some disbelievers would actually think and question why Allah is so mean and strict and God is suppose to be compasionate and all but what we fail to realize is that Allah has always His own reason! Well, seeing it logically, we human only appreciate something when its more challenging right? For instance, you want a raise at work so badly and in order to get it, you strive and give your all in achieving it and after that when u get it, you treasure it so much because of all the other things that you gain striving for it! What about Jannah? You want to strive to get in it because of Allah dont you? you want to see your creator! and what else could bring you more happiness than being with Him and with those who love Him?

The more challenging something is, the more you value it and its deserving to have it! Allah makes Jannah more worth it!

On the other hand, half of our daily life are spent with friends..right? be it in college or at workplace, you spend most hours with your friends and Friends are indeed blessings from Allah SWT. But then yet again what kinda friends are you with? are they those who loves you for the sake of Allah? are they those who guide and bring you to Jannah with them? and those who are married, ask this to yourself...is your spouse the one who reminds you of Allah during times of happiness and darkness? or do you do that to your spouse?

The ticket to Jannah is not only what is fard and halal is but its also companionship...those who are closer to you because they are those who actually you spend most of your time with.

Islam talks about types of friends that we encounter throughout our lives. Forgive me if my spelling is wrong...still poor in arabic :p...There are those who are :



AND not to forget before we do all this we gotta change ourselves first! remember Allah will never change our situation unless we change them within ourselves.

So again, ask yourself is your companion the right ones? and ask Allah to guide you to being a better person by giving you the right kind of friends :D

Let's make a whole loads of du'a for ourselves and the Ummah okayh! :D

Waalaikummusalam warahmatullah ~

In the name of Allah , the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful. 

Assalamualaikum to all,

I bet by the sound of the title of my post you would probably think that "Man! haram police is here!" MashaAllah nah! im not gonna do that :D ... there is actually a reason that im writing this post...im sad but at the same time im actually saying Alhamdulillah for everything. im hoping that this might be enlightening to other people inshaAllah and please bear with me, it will be a long post :p

See, few months ago i was in a pain. holding on to matters and at the same time trying to do my best before i reached the state of tawakul! inside me i knew that time that i needed Allah, i needed His guidance so i have been getting closer to my deen. trying to do more, learn more, be better and i was always making sure that im balanced dunya akhira.

So one day i walked into the masjid and prayed my maghrib prayers in jamaah and i couldn't control my tear! it was rolling and rolling like rolling in the deep :p! i had so much of burden that i need to let go to my Lord .... till at the end of the prayer, a granny who was sitting beside me hold me tight and asked me what's wrong, why am i crying. i couldn't tell her anything actually, i continued crying and she said "be patient, be patient for Allah and everything will be ok" MashaAllah i cried even more hearing to it! SubahanAllah~  well, i have been crying in the masjid this few months, i bet the whole masjid know me as..THE CRY BABY! hikhikhik....

See, i had a problem actually...i was attached!and it is not a halal attachment.. i was attached to a brother (im not really that good of a person tho!) This brother came into my life way before me becoming a Muslim and yes, he was the major contributor to my deen at that time! what i really liked about him was that he was like an imam i was finding for, a Khalifah to guide the ummah and a friend who loved me dearly for the sake of Allah. Knowing him, my ukhwah grew into knowing people who loves Allah too! MashaAllah its a wonderful feeling right, being around people who loves Allah, and Allah loves them. Alhamdulillah for that!

Well, the brother came up to me asking my hand in marriage and analysing everything, i actually said yes but i was naive to do istikharah and seeking Allah's guidance. I thought this is Allah's blessing for me.I later on told him that this might not work as my parents are not aware of my reversion but yet than he promised me..he promised to be there for me, he promised to marry me and go through thick and thin with me...i agreed for it.

Days passes by and we grew closer, at that time i thought he was my knight shinning in armour! subahanAllah i started depending on him as though he knew what is right for me in my life and my deen and what i thought was that we were growing together in it and he told me that we are actually engaged as his family knew about us and everything. Then there came my parents who opposed to the whole idea and my family giving both of us really a tough time, but inside me i knew Allah has the key to everyone's heart same goes to my parents'. Day passed and i told myself at that time that well, if Allah were to grant my du'a then Alhamdulillah and there wasn't a day that i didn't pray for things to be better

It is true that people change along the way, its either to become better or worst! to get closer to Allah or to dunya and along the way we changed too! I was getting closer to Allah trying to buck up my deen. I thought that by getting closer to Allah, Allah will be pleased with me and eventually grant my du'as but then I never did realize what I prayed till today! I made du'a to Allah to make me a better Muslimah, a better servant to Him, steadfast in this deen and bless me with a husband who will walk with me achieving jannah. See, when i made this du'as i was keeping this brother in my heart and its like i've made my mind that he is the one and Allah please make it happen for me. But i was wrong! Allah heard my prayers and He knew what's best for me. not long enough i start to realize how he was too busy with work and catching up with work and i dunno whether did he do anything at all for his deen? i did questioned that but i was still yet denying it inside me subahanAllah~

Allah actually loves me more and i realized it. Recently this brother got engaged to someone else and it was a perfect timing when my father agreed to our marriage. MashaAllah she is so pretty, thin and a kind of women a material men want to have. I did learn about her and what kind of person she is and Allah was never wrong and the quran also is never wrong! Allah said

" Vile women are for vile men, and vile men for vile women. Good women are for good men, and good men for good women; such are innocent of that which people say: For them is pardon and a bountiful provision." Quran 24:26

When i see and hear things about her this is the verse that reminds me of that. Well, you might think that i'm judging but no my dear family, i pray to Allah that this brother will have the strength to guide her. i am sad, very actually not because he hurt me by not telling me that he is getting engaged to someone else but i'm sad looking at what he turned to be. He was a man who have so much of capability, so much of dakwah that he could do for the ummah but i'm so sad that he turned up to be the opposite.i was never bothered if he doesn't want to marry me, i just want him to marry the women of deen! But yet again Allah knows what's best for him and Allah has plan for them. i just ask forgiveness from Allah for him and me, for all the promises he made on Allah's name...everything.

Now, i see Allah's love and blessings clearer..Allah took away one love but blessed me with abundant including His love for me. He sent me wonderful sisters who is with me from day one till today, sisters that came into my life today but made me stronger MashaAllah! i never did regret for what i went through cos if i didn't i wouldn't be steadfast in Islam, it will never cross my mind that i will be a Muslim! this brother thought me a lot actually. he once told me this before i became a Muslim "if you love me, you will love what I love and that is Islam. But I know for sure, one day, you will love Islam more than me! " SubahanAllah he is sooo true! i love Allah and this deen so much! a blessing that i got never by asking Allah at all...it just came to me!  he was the one who advised me in being a better muslimah, learn everything, question things that are doubtful to us and get clarification before following it, he is the one who always reminded me to pray on time and mashaAllah most importantly he taught me patience and strength! but he was sent by Allah just to guide me for awhile and his job is done. Allah is now taking him away~

Will iamthebeliever ever be married? inshaAllah one day to a man that Allah will pass my heart to cos now my heart belongs to Allah . a man who will take care of it, a man that will learn together with me till jannah, a man that will open the eyes of both my parents and sister about islam, a man who will trully love me for the sake of Allah! Do make du'a for me dear family to go through this test :)

I hope this story of mine will inspire all of you in some way. Like how my favourite speaker, Yasmin Mogahed says, everything in this world is a tool for you to seek Allah. Don't keep the love of human in your heart yet keep it in your hand...only Allah belongs in your heart...SubahanAllah~



Waalaikummusalam warahmatullah ~

In the name of Allah , the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful. 

Assalamualaikum to all,

What is the meaning of being a Muslimah? most importantly why is it that we are a Muslim? not many really did ask themselves this question rather it never did cross their mind! To me i feel a great blessing to be born as a women! and yes, despite the pains we all go through every month and ramble about "why i cant be born as a man?" , i never did grieve on that though! and i could practically scream ALHAMDULILLAH! for the fact that im chosen by Allah to be a Muslim :D



Last week, Alhamdulillah by the blessing of Allah SWT, i managed to attend a wonderful conference here in Malaysia called Being Me : Muslimah Empowered. What's really nice about this conference is that it talks a lot about the contribution of a Muslimah as a humble servant to her Lord and to the development of the ummah! Oh yes, they do have bazaar selling abayas and wonderful hijabs but aside that its more of a self improvement conference. How as a women do you please your Creator, achieving balance between dunya and akhirah, contribution to the ummah and even your own family MashaAllah~

Alhamdulillah Mercy Mission Malaysia did a great job in getting everything up together including the list of  amazing speakers. We had Yasmin Mogahed, Myriam Francois Cherrah, Dr. Fadila Grine, Raya Shokatfard, Dr. Halima Boukerroucha and many more for the main hall and also workshop talks.

What i enjoyed most was the talk by most definitely my favourite speaker of all time, Yasmin Mogahed. Believe it or not, when she went up to the stage i felt like i was in a rock concert...i almost cried! hahahahaha...i kept on saying Alhamdulillah like i dont know how many time in my heart! it was MashaAllah a wonderful blessing!



 I really enjoyed the topic Free from all other masters, Empowering Women by Yasmin Mogahed. i agree to the fact in her speech that we women are made to believe that love and marriage is only the mean to our lives, the ultimate jannah. When we don't get it, we seem to breakdown and lose it all. Some, make us believe that we need to be equal to men! when they cut their hair short, we want to! when man lead a prayer, we think they are closer to Allah SWT and we too wants to lead the congregation. it is almost feeding the desire of man then for our Creator! in  fact we forget why were we even born on earth, what is our purpose of life? was it only to please ourselves and those around us or to please Allah SWT? this specific topic actually opened my eyes to things that i never did look at in a perspective of a Muslimah. I too believed that the point of getting married was basically for my knight shining in armour to save me and bring me to Jannah when it is actually the mercy of Allah SWT. it made me look deep inside me! i shouldn't make Allah SWT as a tool to reach my perfect man but actually the other way around. MashaAllah at that moment i really felt that Allah wanted me to open my eyes and making me a better Muslimah...He is actually answering my du'as :)

Feminism...hmmmm...very very famous topic among women these days right?...Well the topic  Do we need Islamic feminism? by Myriam Francois Cherrah was really interesting where feminism is needed but in the right way, the more positive way and did you know that during the time of Prophet SAW, women actually played important role in shaping the ummah. From the time of Khadijah r.a who was a great supporter of this deen and a great businesswoman to Sumayya who uphold to the deen to Aisha r.a who was the only person to record most of the hadith and the list goes on and on! Even the worlds first university was established by a women SubahanAllah. Funnily none did research on the great Muslimah who reshape the world with this deen and never did bring any extreme feminism or even innovation to the religion. i feel that its time for us to set back things and look at it in a right perspective!






Overall...this is the best birthday present Allah SWT has ever gave myself! ouh i even bought a book on the seerah of Muhammad SAW! that was another exciting event! hikhikhik...always wanted to read the seerah and Alhamdulillah i got it! but i was actually confused in choosing between "When the Moon Split" and "The Sealed Nectar" till a really nice aunty and brother helped me to choose something light for me and i got it discounted Alhamdulillah!! :D :D


Really hoping for many other events like this to come and i really need to make more time for all of this...inshaAllah taala~

p/s: inshaAllah i will be posting more in detail regarding the topics presented by Yasmin Mogahed and Myriam Francois Cherrah in my upcoming posts~


Waalaikummusalam warahmatullah ~