depression

MOMMA’S GONE CRAY CRAY!

22:41

In the name of Allah , the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful.  

 Assalamualaykum to all, 




Recently I came across an article, well it’s rather a news about a mother who killed her own 2 month year old baby. SubhanAllah I could feel exactly how she would have felt, except, I didn’t actually kill mine but I’ve had that in my mind at times. You might think, how could a mother ever do that after going through everything preparing the arrival of her baby and just take his/her life just like that! Yup! Not having enough rest, changes in your body and emotion leads you to that! Momma has gone cray cray! I bet your even judging me now…but I don’t care really because honestly we all feel like killing someone at times. Ok no joke, serious time.

Firstly to break down things to all you new mommas out there, MOTHERHOOD AINT EASY! BABIES THO CUTE, NOT EASY. And you’ll have many SLEEPLESS NIGHTS! But GOOD NEWS tho, YOU”LL GET USE TO IT WOMAN! Like every phase we go in life, this is also a part of it. Remember being a teen, it wasn’t easy with puberty, pimples, big boobs, small boobs, mood swings, dreading over opposite sex and all that. Then when you got married… loud snores, toilet seat not put down, loud unapologetic farts, video games24/7 dramas. Yup, motherhood is just like that too! It’s a phase in life that Allah puts us through to be better and it’s just polishing us all the way! Honestly you could see yourself, being more patience at the end of the day, being able to organize like a pro, and even getting a new figure (happens when you manage a toddler).

Secondly, it’s OK to CRY! CRY to everyone and please don’t be so independent all the time! Yes I know we women are brought up being independent but till you talk to your husband and tell him what’s wrong, his never going to understand. Throw him those tears then he will need to man up for u and start figuring things out for u and the baby. MEN NEED TO BE TOLD WHAT TO DO! So, please please communicate with your spouse! I beg you all! I did that mistake of taking all in. I did the mistake of being independent with my baby too much that it broke me. When you’re about to break down, get away from your baby for a few hours and have your “me-time”. It really helps! And hey, ur hubby might get his time to bond with the baby.

Thirdly, EAT HEALTHY! I know I’m not the best person to give this advice but when I was pregnant, I tried my level best to do it and when I was in my confinement too! Alhamdulillah I have my umie to make sure everything was in order in terms of food. And EAT UP WOMAN! So what you gained a few extra pounds, EXERCISE but NEVER EVER SKIP A MEAL! Especially when your breastfeeding. Drink lots of water even though people think your being a whale. DRINK DRINK DRINK PLENTY OF WATER! Our emotions and hormones relates to what we eat too!

Fourthly, read up not only about child birth but also about breastfeeding, cleanliness of the baby, activities to play with your baby other than just taking his/her picture and postpartum depression. READ READ READ! You need to read and watch videos, talk to other mommas and find a way you want to do things with your baby. Different mother has got different styles and we are all are no better than the other but doing all this would help you to get an idea on motherhood. Find a support group among your friends or even in your residential area. It helps a lot to get friends you could relate to! But but but…if at all you feel judged by this mommas…RUN FOR YOUR LIFE WOMAN! Some ladies can be so know it all and bitter honestly!

Fifthly, SLEEP! You might go like eh you said sleep deprived…yeah but just do this in the first few weeks after giving birth. IT’s really tiring pushing your baby out to the world and u need that rest! So, what you do is…pump out your milk and give your baby to your hubby or parents to take care off and YOU GO SLEEP! Alhamdulillah my umie took care of my baby at night when I was having a good night sleep. She slept with my baby and gave milk to her when she wakes up at 5am and after that I took over. It helped me soooo much Alhamdulillah! So, try liaising with your family and I’m sure they would be happy to help. If you’ve got money than go ahead and hire someone to do it!

Sixthly, I’M A BAD MOTHER! Yup, this will definitely haunt you down till the end of your life. But honestly, NO ONE IS PERFECT WOMAN! A dear friend did tell me this when I had a meltdown not long before. It’s ok to have a meltdown. It’s ok to feel frustrated and showing it especially to your kids because they need to know that neither you nor they are perfect. It’s a learning curve for you and your baby and that’s how we complement each other. I know for sure when I tell my daughter, I hate her, she’s going to do that when she’s in her teen’s year. We did hate our moms at one point of time. I’m telling this not to ask you ladies to do so but what I’m trying to convey is that its ok guys, honestly it’s ok. We can’t be perfect all the time. We are human. MOM’S ARE HUMAN!

Finally, make sure NOT TO SKIP YOUR PRAYERS AND YOUR DAILY MORNING AND EVENING ADHKAR. Make sure to always recite the Quran or even listen to it with your baby. The words of Allah has the power to heal and for your postpartum depression this is an amazing cure. So I think let’s slide music under the bed for now shall we. Make sure to recite Surah Fatiha, Ayatul Kursi and 3 Qul EVERYDAY! At times I forget too but once you realize you’re about to go cuckoo, snap out of it and recite. It will definitely cool you down!



Now, this one I need you to let your hubby read it! HUBBY HUBBA HUBBA listen…

Firstly, DUDE, BE INVOLVED! I’m not asking you to do everything but make sure you’re ready to be her support system! You never liked her in her PMS days, well get ready, this could be worst! But she’s bringing your baby to this world, I bet you can be more sensible and take it all in right! Lend in your ears for her and motivate her. Don’t just motivate her by saying “you can do it”, “jannah lies on your feet”, “Allah chose you among millions of people out there” but motivate her by saying “you’re the most amazing woman I’ve met”, “I love you sooo much”, “our baby and I can never be blessed with a more amazing mom and wife than u”, lots of hugs, lots of kisses, shower her with chocolates and foods she love to indulge! Dude just by hugging and kissing her every day, that’s THE BEST EVER MOTIVATION for any woman in this world!

Secondly, BE READY FOR CHANGE! I know you might be in the midst of promotion, new job, just got into the romance phase of marriage and THIS IS A LOT TO TAKE! Yup! Not only for you but your wife too! It’s a change for everyone! You might find your wife turning out to be a complete new person and even everything at home will be so different from before.  So, just know that your child is also a rizq that will bring in more RIZQ AND TAWAKKUL in Allah for this new journey! It’s totally fine to talk to your wife about it and really figure things together.THAT’S WHAT MARRIAGE IS ALL ABOUT.

Thirdly, FORGIVE HER, MAKE DU’A FOR HER AND BE PLEASE WITH HER. I think this bit might be a bit difficult for some because your wife has just got to the next level on emotions and mood swings and the number one reason for it is TIRED AND SLEEP DEPRIVED. Looking at her, you might feel like u made the biggest mistake choosing the wrong person as the mother of your kids. Honestly, with a toddler, this can still go on and for me myself, I’m a totally different person when that happens. Things I might think I won’t do to my daughter, I do. At times I tell to my hubby that I can’t take it and I want to kill our daughter but he snaps me out of it without making me guilty and he always says that he prays for me not to be a MONSTER and ask Allah to give me and him the strength.


So guys, though it’s all flowery and wonderful this PARENTHOOD thinghy, it’s filled with test for you and your family. Give time to each other and seek help. I’m sure there will be many peple willing to help you if you reach out. Never take this negative emotions light. REALIZE IT AND MAKE A CHANGE! Like what my bro in law told us welcoming us to parenthood, it’s a BITTERSWEET JOURNEY! 

 Waalaikummusalam warahmatullah ~

Marriage and Love

He wants to marry me, he wants to marry me not...

18:00



In the name of Allah , the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful. 

Assalamualaykum to all, 

Aaah! The dilemma of marriage! The dilemma of love! I've been noticing this quite a lot among the brothers and sisters around me these days. 

And before all of you come up being defensive for the fact that our situations are not the same, let me tell you this, I HAVE BEEN THERE!

Let me tell you something bout my love life before Islam and after it and the time when I got married. Probably you sisters and brothers could somewhat relate to it.

When I first fell in love, it was what my mom use to call "monkey love"! This is the love that sparked during high school and wallahi most of us have no idea what love is! Love to me at least was what i saw in bollywood movie and its funny when wee try to mimic it in real life! It was all innocent (at least back then) and yes there wasn't any idea of marriage because this is just part time. Well, I was trained to be more career minded back then and love is just a fling and its part time.

When I hit the age 19, then I realized the weight of love! It consists sacrifice, time and of course the big word, MARRIAGE! A proposal came to me then, with much love and promises and well at least it sounded serious! It was a reality check for me because, i'm no longer a kid. I feel old and i know its time to carry something on my back called RESPONSIBILITY. Then again, i have no idea bout marriage, being seriously in love is something that i thought i could start as a practice towards my marriage! You see, it was definitely, sugar and flowers at the same time and i developed something called ATTACHMENT! He did come over and meet my parents but none of us is in the idea of wedding at that time. My parents had different idea and plans for me and marriage wasn't one of it. I had a plan for myself too and it was just to continue living as how i am. Yes, i'm very comfortable in the dating zone! However, this guy is 10 years older than me and subahanAllah age is just a number guys! He was just as me, no future plan for us or the family that we wanted to built, no future on managing our life...nothing...just...WILL YOU MARRY ME?...

So, well that didn't go right didn't it! Due to that attachment, I was in great pain! A pain that left me categorizing men. A pain that left me thinking there isn't more to life, no future and i shall just live by the moment. So, i did! I lost myself in search for love due to that heartbreak. Men came into my life and they came in bringing the same promises, MARRIAGE. I had to keep it clear and it was all about being friends with benefits and rebounds! I've lost myself and first time ever i felt like i was in control with my life! Prayers, God, nah, i was just doing it without fear and taqwa. Plus i was mad at God at that time for taking away what i love the most. Well, now thinking bout it, it's just a guy and seriously?! what a huge drama!

I think Allah SWT noticed my huge drama and for some reason i think He loves me alot! 

LOVE came again into my life not long after that. This time...MashaAllah it came and hit me big! It didn't only bring me love from a human but SubahanAllah it came with the LOVE OF MY RABB. To me at that time, this relationship that i was in was the purest form ever! From a love that demands sacrifice, i've got a love that is patience. From a love that is all about physical interaction, I've got a love that respects me as a woman. It was something new for me and yes it did come to me with the same promise, MARRIAGE. But then for me, i was more in awed for the fact that i saw sooo much of amazing akhlaq and differences! And i was in denial for the fact that was all because of Islam as i was anti Islam and never in a million years will i consider the religion. 

To cut it all short, this promise of MARRIAGE pushed me to open the Quran, read and learn as if i was going to go all serious, i need to go SEARCH and LEARN. Cutting it short, i fell in love more with Allah SWT and that made me realize who MY RABB was. Alhamdulillah for that LOVE, i was a new person, i realized the purpose of my life, i struggled in becoming a good Muslim, i searched ways to please MY RABB and this was when i started climbing the stairs rapidly. 

Yet than i forgot that haram is still haram no matter how you JUSTIFY it. We both knew it but we was both in denial because we put MARRIAGE as our goal and inshaAllah despite anything we will end up there! We tried so many ways trying to make it all halal. No contacting, no meeting up, using a middle person to convey messages, meeting each other in the presence of friends, meeting at the masjid so that it might not look bad and wallahi soo many other way trying to make it halal. Yet, you know the heart is just too fragile to say no. Time passed but we were just at where we started it. This time, astaghfirullah, my ibaadah started to go in the way of pleasing him rather than Allah SWT. Again i fell into the same hole of attachment as i did before.

Time passed and well, Allah SWT wanted different thing for both of us. We separated and took different paths in life. Then and only then i prayed and went on sujud every night asking forgiveness from Allah SWT and asking Him to give me another chance to make it all right! And at the same time i prayed to Allah SWT to take care of my heart and only pass it to the one that He has written for me. 



When i met my husband, Allah SWT was there holding to my du'a and guiding me to MARRIAGE as soon as possible. We were drifting a lil bit here and there but Alhamdulillah, Allah SWT sent so many amazing brothers and sisters pushing us into the path back and making us do it without much fitna. 

Brothers and sisters, i am sharing my journey of LOVE and MARRIAGE to all of you not to tell you that I am right but i'm sharing it so that all of you would know that it isn't all that hard and painful unless you make it that way. Ask yourself, is the person that I'm in LOVE with is going to be there during hardship? Is the person going to stand by me? Do we share the same goal in life and the family that we want to build? So after we get married, what happens? Will it feel the same just like before? Am i really ready to be a wife? A mother? And most importantly, IS ALLAH PLEASED WITH THIS RELATIONSHIP? HOW IS ALLAH PLEASED WITH ME WHEN I DON'T PLEASE HIM? 

It is in your hands how you design your MARRIAGE. If a MARRIAGE starts with something halal and good, inshaAllah it will end with something good. It is not wrong to fall in LOVE, but fall in love through the way that our RABB has ordained for us because then, we will not be in much PAIN because of a creation.


Don't lose yourself brothers and sisters and make loads and loads of du'a. Allah SWT hears :)

Waalaykummusalam warahmatullah ~

Marriage and Love

And I wish for a lavish marriage....Alhamdulillah

01:08

Me & My Zawj...well the background is definitely not from our wedding! :p


In the name of Allah , the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful. 

Assalamualaikum dear family,


30:21
And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought. (Holy Quran 30:21)


Few days before I had somebody who asked my hand in marriage, I was going through a lecture video by Sheikh Yawar Baig regarding marriage, what it really is and the essential part of making it wonderful. He then was explaining about this verse. SubahanAllah at that time i thought to myself that its merely impossible for anyone to put up with me. Trust me! The amount of breakdowns and frustration because of being a revert is painful enough that i stop burdening people with it and instead turned to my Love. Sajdah was the only way i could cry and pour my pain upon and i thought how would i ever have tranquillity being in a marriage with someone.

I was at the point of giving up, no marriage and weddings, all of it over rated, couldn't be bothered! But deep inside me i do know that there is something about marriage and its a sunnah. Every possible night, i do wake up for tahajjud and asked Allah SWT to bless me with a man who will love me more than i do, for the sake of Allah SWT. A man who is on this deen, and is growing like me and willing to learn with me, a man who will do da'wah to my family and a man who will be the coolness of my eyes.

One day a brother that i knew from my workplace(still my colleague) asked my hand in marriage and wallahi i thought he was kidding! and i obviously said that he is crazy cause he have no idea what his getting into! then he asked me again and then it hit me that he is really serious about it! He is 3 years younger than me and for me its a definite no! even if it was following the sunnah. I could never register more in my head that this brother is just a child! My bad, he is not!

Well, coming from a dating background, i never know how it worked in the real Islamic way. But i did tell myself that i want to make it right this time. So, i said yes and then we proceeded with getting to know each other in terms of what we like, our vision in life, for the marriage, how we want to bring the kids up and all of the serious stuffs.

What amaze me the most with this brother is that, he have never seen my face, never seen my figure cos of the abaya, I'm a revert and i have nothing other than this deen but he wanted to marry me! its soooo weird in a good way for me! I've always hated brothers who wants to marry sisters just because of how they look but this is too weirdly awesome for me!

We then proceeded to the part where he came over to see my face cause its part of sunnah and subahanAllah that moment is just sooo beautiful i can even smile till today.thinking bout it. Wallahi I've never blushed that much in my life! we were both lowering our gazes and the awkwardness just went up to the next level! and yes, we both immediately agreed to get married. i was scared about how will it go with my family and the whole situation but Alhamdulillah, Allah gave me someone who has total tawakul in Him.

Then it went on to meet his parents and MashaAllah they were the nicest people I've ever met! My mother-in-law was definitely the kind i was dreaming of since i was young! told him though that his mother is my dream mother-in-law :p . and his father, mashaAllah a humble man and funny at times! We than proceeded to the legal matters to get our nikah done and his parents was with us preparing and doing everything with us till the last day! With the crazy government procedure making the process of getting the nikah done, they actually went up and down with us..MashaAllah...May Allah bless them for that effort and help that they did for us...and i am truly blessed to have them in my life.

While going through all the hassle and hardship, Allah truly blessed us with ease. We knew each other so well for only a month and on the 31st of January 2013, we did our nikah at the Islamic Affairs Department in Malaysia. It was the most simplest nikah where we had both his parents and both my really close friends there to witness it all.

After all, Allah did hear to my prayers of not wanting a lavish wedding...Alhamdulillah~

Well dear family, my husband is not the most handsomest man or the most macho person. He doesn't look like a model or even the fairest man alive and he is definitely not the urdu speaking poet that comes in a white horse to sweep me of my feet (yes, that is my unrealistic wish for a husband :p). He is not the kind of person that i want but he is what Allah SWT wants for me. How beautiful is it to receive a gift that when you open the box, you'll see the most beautiful thing ever inside it. I'm saying Alhamdulillah everyday and everyday is a new page with him.

To those out there looking for the right life partner, make sure you fix yourself first according to this deen and at the same time make loads of du'a asking Allah SWT to send you the right one. Do not despair when things don't go your way because the best is that which goes in Allah's way. Like what my husband always tells me,  say Alhamdulillah no matter in what situation we are in. Even in the bad times, Allah SWT is preparing the best for you which even you can't imagine it.

Do keep us in your du'a my dear family...inshaAllah~



25:74


And those who say, "Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous." (Holy Quran 25:74)



Waalaikummusalam warahmatullah ~

Marriage and Love

Alhamdulillah...The end of Haram...

14:35

In the name of Allah , the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful. 

Assalamualaikum to all,

I bet by the sound of the title of my post you would probably think that "Man! haram police is here!" MashaAllah nah! im not gonna do that :D ... there is actually a reason that im writing this post...im sad but at the same time im actually saying Alhamdulillah for everything. im hoping that this might be enlightening to other people inshaAllah and please bear with me, it will be a long post :p

See, few months ago i was in a pain. holding on to matters and at the same time trying to do my best before i reached the state of tawakul! inside me i knew that time that i needed Allah, i needed His guidance so i have been getting closer to my deen. trying to do more, learn more, be better and i was always making sure that im balanced dunya akhira.

So one day i walked into the masjid and prayed my maghrib prayers in jamaah and i couldn't control my tear! it was rolling and rolling like rolling in the deep :p! i had so much of burden that i need to let go to my Lord .... till at the end of the prayer, a granny who was sitting beside me hold me tight and asked me what's wrong, why am i crying. i couldn't tell her anything actually, i continued crying and she said "be patient, be patient for Allah and everything will be ok" MashaAllah i cried even more hearing to it! SubahanAllah~  well, i have been crying in the masjid this few months, i bet the whole masjid know me as..THE CRY BABY! hikhikhik....

See, i had a problem actually...i was attached!and it is not a halal attachment.. i was attached to a brother (im not really that good of a person tho!) This brother came into my life way before me becoming a Muslim and yes, he was the major contributor to my deen at that time! what i really liked about him was that he was like an imam i was finding for, a Khalifah to guide the ummah and a friend who loved me dearly for the sake of Allah. Knowing him, my ukhwah grew into knowing people who loves Allah too! MashaAllah its a wonderful feeling right, being around people who loves Allah, and Allah loves them. Alhamdulillah for that!

Well, the brother came up to me asking my hand in marriage and analysing everything, i actually said yes but i was naive to do istikharah and seeking Allah's guidance. I thought this is Allah's blessing for me.I later on told him that this might not work as my parents are not aware of my reversion but yet than he promised me..he promised to be there for me, he promised to marry me and go through thick and thin with me...i agreed for it.

Days passes by and we grew closer, at that time i thought he was my knight shinning in armour! subahanAllah i started depending on him as though he knew what is right for me in my life and my deen and what i thought was that we were growing together in it and he told me that we are actually engaged as his family knew about us and everything. Then there came my parents who opposed to the whole idea and my family giving both of us really a tough time, but inside me i knew Allah has the key to everyone's heart same goes to my parents'. Day passed and i told myself at that time that well, if Allah were to grant my du'a then Alhamdulillah and there wasn't a day that i didn't pray for things to be better

It is true that people change along the way, its either to become better or worst! to get closer to Allah or to dunya and along the way we changed too! I was getting closer to Allah trying to buck up my deen. I thought that by getting closer to Allah, Allah will be pleased with me and eventually grant my du'as but then I never did realize what I prayed till today! I made du'a to Allah to make me a better Muslimah, a better servant to Him, steadfast in this deen and bless me with a husband who will walk with me achieving jannah. See, when i made this du'as i was keeping this brother in my heart and its like i've made my mind that he is the one and Allah please make it happen for me. But i was wrong! Allah heard my prayers and He knew what's best for me. not long enough i start to realize how he was too busy with work and catching up with work and i dunno whether did he do anything at all for his deen? i did questioned that but i was still yet denying it inside me subahanAllah~

Allah actually loves me more and i realized it. Recently this brother got engaged to someone else and it was a perfect timing when my father agreed to our marriage. MashaAllah she is so pretty, thin and a kind of women a material men want to have. I did learn about her and what kind of person she is and Allah was never wrong and the quran also is never wrong! Allah said

" Vile women are for vile men, and vile men for vile women. Good women are for good men, and good men for good women; such are innocent of that which people say: For them is pardon and a bountiful provision." Quran 24:26


When i see and hear things about her this is the verse that reminds me of that. Well, you might think that i'm judging but no my dear family, i pray to Allah that this brother will have the strength to guide her. i am sad, very actually not because he hurt me by not telling me that he is getting engaged to someone else but i'm sad looking at what he turned to be. He was a man who have so much of capability, so much of dakwah that he could do for the ummah but i'm so sad that he turned up to be the opposite.i was never bothered if he doesn't want to marry me, i just want him to marry the women of deen! But yet again Allah knows what's best for him and Allah has plan for them. i just ask forgiveness from Allah for him and me, for all the promises he made on Allah's name...everything.

Now, i see Allah's love and blessings clearer..Allah took away one love but blessed me with abundant including His love for me. He sent me wonderful sisters who is with me from day one till today, sisters that came into my life today but made me stronger MashaAllah! i never did regret for what i went through cos if i didn't i wouldn't be steadfast in Islam, it will never cross my mind that i will be a Muslim! this brother thought me a lot actually. he once told me this before i became a Muslim "if you love me, you will love what I love and that is Islam. But I know for sure, one day, you will love Islam more than me! " SubahanAllah he is sooo true! i love Allah and this deen so much! a blessing that i got never by asking Allah at all...it just came to me!  he was the one who advised me in being a better muslimah, learn everything, question things that are doubtful to us and get clarification before following it, he is the one who always reminded me to pray on time and mashaAllah most importantly he taught me patience and strength! but he was sent by Allah just to guide me for awhile and his job is done. Allah is now taking him away~

Will iamthebeliever ever be married? inshaAllah one day to a man that Allah will pass my heart to cos now my heart belongs to Allah . a man who will take care of it, a man that will learn together with me till jannah, a man that will open the eyes of both my parents and sister about islam, a man who will trully love me for the sake of Allah! Do make du'a for me dear family to go through this test :)

I hope this story of mine will inspire all of you in some way. Like how my favourite speaker, Yasmin Mogahed says, everything in this world is a tool for you to seek Allah. Don't keep the love of human in your heart yet keep it in your hand...only Allah belongs in your heart...SubahanAllah~



Waalaikummusalam warahmatullah ~

Him

Being Me - Muslimah Empowered!

16:44

In the name of Allah , the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful. 

Assalamualaikum to all,



What is the meaning of being a Muslimah? most importantly why is it that we are a Muslim? not many really did ask themselves this question rather it never did cross their mind! To me i feel a great blessing to be born as a women! and yes, despite the pains we all go through every month and ramble about "why i cant be born as a man?" , i never did grieve on that though! and i could practically scream ALHAMDULILLAH! for the fact that im chosen by Allah to be a Muslim :D



Last week, Alhamdulillah by the blessing of Allah SWT, i managed to attend a wonderful conference here in Malaysia called Being Me : Muslimah Empowered. What's really nice about this conference is that it talks a lot about the contribution of a Muslimah as a humble servant to her Lord and to the development of the ummah! Oh yes, they do have bazaar selling abayas and wonderful hijabs but aside that its more of a self improvement conference. How as a women do you please your Creator, achieving balance between dunya and akhirah, contribution to the ummah and even your own family MashaAllah~

Alhamdulillah Mercy Mission Malaysia did a great job in getting everything up together including the list of  amazing speakers. We had Yasmin Mogahed, Myriam Francois Cherrah, Dr. Fadila Grine, Raya Shokatfard, Dr. Halima Boukerroucha and many more for the main hall and also workshop talks.

What i enjoyed most was the talk by most definitely my favourite speaker of all time, Yasmin Mogahed. Believe it or not, when she went up to the stage i felt like i was in a rock concert...i almost cried! hahahahaha...i kept on saying Alhamdulillah like i dont know how many time in my heart! it was MashaAllah a wonderful blessing!



 I really enjoyed the topic Free from all other masters, Empowering Women by Yasmin Mogahed. i agree to the fact in her speech that we women are made to believe that love and marriage is only the mean to our lives, the ultimate jannah. When we don't get it, we seem to breakdown and lose it all. Some, make us believe that we need to be equal to men! when they cut their hair short, we want to! when man lead a prayer, we think they are closer to Allah SWT and we too wants to lead the congregation. it is almost feeding the desire of man then for our Creator! in  fact we forget why were we even born on earth, what is our purpose of life? was it only to please ourselves and those around us or to please Allah SWT? this specific topic actually opened my eyes to things that i never did look at in a perspective of a Muslimah. I too believed that the point of getting married was basically for my knight shining in armour to save me and bring me to Jannah when it is actually the mercy of Allah SWT. it made me look deep inside me! i shouldn't make Allah SWT as a tool to reach my perfect man but actually the other way around. MashaAllah at that moment i really felt that Allah wanted me to open my eyes and making me a better Muslimah...He is actually answering my du'as :)

Feminism...hmmmm...very very famous topic among women these days right?...Well the topic  Do we need Islamic feminism? by Myriam Francois Cherrah was really interesting where feminism is needed but in the right way, the more positive way and did you know that during the time of Prophet SAW, women actually played important role in shaping the ummah. From the time of Khadijah r.a who was a great supporter of this deen and a great businesswoman to Sumayya who uphold to the deen to Aisha r.a who was the only person to record most of the hadith and the list goes on and on! Even the worlds first university was established by a women SubahanAllah. Funnily none did research on the great Muslimah who reshape the world with this deen and never did bring any extreme feminism or even innovation to the religion. i feel that its time for us to set back things and look at it in a right perspective!






Overall...this is the best birthday present Allah SWT has ever gave myself! ouh i even bought a book on the seerah of Muhammad SAW! that was another exciting event! hikhikhik...always wanted to read the seerah and Alhamdulillah i got it! but i was actually confused in choosing between "When the Moon Split" and "The Sealed Nectar" till a really nice aunty and brother helped me to choose something light for me and i got it discounted Alhamdulillah!! :D :D


Really hoping for many other events like this to come and i really need to make more time for all of this...inshaAllah taala~

p/s: inshaAllah i will be posting more in detail regarding the topics presented by Yasmin Mogahed and Myriam Francois Cherrah in my upcoming posts~


Waalaikummusalam warahmatullah ~

Him

If you feel no shame, then do as you wish

17:39



In the name of Allah , the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful.

Assalamualaikum to all,

Alhamdulillah for the past few days, i have been finishing what i've intended to do but sadly i received a sad news that one of my friend who was a part of being my guide will be off to work and her placement is still undecided. Well, why im sad? She might work far away and im still learning to know her and making my deen stronger! im so hoping that she wont be getting places far away from me! inshaAllah!

Ok, that's a little about me there :D

Well, today's entry has something to do with the title above! 

"If you feel no shame, then do as you wish" Prophet Muhammad SAW

That is really a direct statement subahanAllah! this got me for good and i thought back to what my close friend had told me once that shyness is part of a human's modesty and when you don't have that, nauzubillah! let's make du'a that we never will come close to that! 

There is a reason i picked this quote sisters and brothers! recently i came across an incident. One of my non Muslim  friend, Sahana (not real name) has asked me a question. 

Sahana: Sister, i'm actually in a dillema! why do Islam has so many haram and halal in everything they do in their live? why is it so complicated? and dont they get confuse?
Me: The reason there is haram and halal is like having to differentiate between good things or bad things.For instance,  Islam prohibits alcohol is because scientifically, its not healthy and in the long run there are so many effects. You may say that  alcohol consumed in a less amount wont make any difference but Islam prohibits from the root itself.
Sahana: it is true sister! eliminating from the root itself! but then sister, why my Muslim friend who doesnt want to drink from my water bottle even though i'm vegetarian and she still says its haram,  would rather have her boyfriend back home with her? Isn't that haram too?
Me: ......(speechless) 
So sisters and brothers, any answer for my friends question? its a shame when your Muslim fellows talk about haram and halal but in return, they don't follow it. 


A humble request to my sisters and brothers out there, please please please don't just follow without knowing the reason for doing something. Do make an effort to learn Islam and what it truly is because mashaAllah it's a wonderful religion! you can have so much of facts learning what Islam is. We do have our own flaw, but don't continue doing it. Repent!


Do not commit zina. if man knew what was his limit, he would be the perfect servant of Allah SWT. Shaaitan doesn't only be around us but its within our own nafs. Today we see many people throwing of their babies which results from before marriage sexual conduct. it looks like we went back to the jahilliyah times except this time, we don't kill the baby girls but the baby boys too! love is wonderful but wait for the right one. when you've already have the right one, make du'a so that Allah SWT will bless the relationship with a marriage but at the same time, don't loose yourself. Things can wait. If he/she is meant to be with you, he/she will wait. always put Allah SWT first and ask for His guidance. There is no tawakal if you don't to change things. 


Love you all for the sake of Allah SWT :D

Waalaikummusalam warahmatullah ~

Marriage and Love

How to tackle lustful temptations towards the opposite sex

02:40

to all my young brothers and sisters out there, i know its hard but remember this is only Allah’s test…remember about Him, think of Him all the time..inshaAllah u will pass it through






1) Faith in Allah:

Faith in Allaah and fear of Allaah provide a safety valve and protect a person against committing haraam actions and following his own whims and desires.

If the believer becomes aware that Allaah is always watching and if he ponders the meanings of His names and attributes, such as the All-Knowing, the All-Hearing, the All-Seeing, the Watchful, the Reckoner, the Preserver, the All-Encompassing, that will generate fear of Him in secret and in public, and will put a stop to disobedience towards Allaah, and will reduce the strength of desire that leads many people to commit haraam actions.

2) Lowering your gaze:

The gaze can generate bad thoughts in the heart, which then lead to ideas and then to desires, then to will and resolve, and then inevitably to doing haraam things. Think about the meaning of this verse which makes a connection between the first steps towards haraam and the end result. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allaah is All-Aware of what they do” [24:30] The Holy Quran

3) Warding of evil thoughts:

Bad thoughts pose a danger to the heart… If a person dwells on them and does not push them away, they will develop into an idea, then into will and resolve, then this will inevitably lead to haraam actions. Beware of dwelling on passing thoughts; rather what you must do is to ward them off and crowd them out with good thoughts.

The treatment, then, is to ward off these passing thoughts and keep yourself busy with beneficial thoughts.

4) Marriage:

“O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, and whoever cannot, let him fast, for it will be a shield for him.” The Prophet Muhammad (saw)

5) Fasting

6) Do not keep bad company:

“A man will follow the way of his close friends, so let each one of you look at who he takes as a close friend.” The Prophet Muhammad (saw)

7) Make good use of your time:

Time is one of the great blessings that Allaah has bestowed upon His slaves, but there are many who are not making the most of it. It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“Two blessings which many people do not make the most of: good health and spare time.”

8) Remember the hereafter:

Particularly appropriate in this context is remembering al-hoor al-‘iyn and their attributes, whom Allaah has prepared for those who are patient and steadfast in avoiding sin. This can help the Muslim to look at these transient haraam pleasures which only lead to regret and loss.

O’ Allaah to help us to avoid temptation, both obvious and hidden. Praise be to Allaah the Lord of the Worlds.